Tuesday, June 30, 2009
Burnin' Love
Here's one thing that isn't fun about pregnancy: heartburn. Since I had to go into the office and worked a little late, Matt made a great dinner of spice-rubbed salmon, homemade sweet potato fries (also spiced) and edamame. Two bites in, Matt said I should take something for indigestion. I don't know WHY I didn't listen. Three hours later, I can't sleep, and I'm writhing in pain. God bless Zantac... I hope it kicks in soon. At least the baby has the good graces not to kick the bejesus out of me right now.
I'd Trade My Husband for a Housekeeper
First of all, I want to point out that this book is subtitled "loving your marriage after the baby carriage" and is about getting to the point where you WOULDN'T want to trade your husband for the afore mentioned housekeeper. I think Matt freaked out a little when he saw the title of the book.
Although I liked that the book is based on interviews of married moms and dads, I didn't find the book terribly insightful. It didn't have much content, and what content there was VERY liberally sprinkled with interviewee quotes, "dirty little secrets" (some eyebrow-raising, others just sad), and quizzes.
The main messages can be boiled down to the subtitles of each chapter: Expectations versus Reality, Make the Choice to Be Happy, Communication Is Key, Prioritizing Your Relationship, and Make Sex a True Investment in Your Marriage.
Nonetheless, if you have or are having kids, I think it's worthwhile to make the effort to read books like this one even if it's just a reminder of what you already know: that you can't do it all, that you need to communicate with your significant other, that you need to make time to be a partner (trust me, your child will benefit from the good example!), and that sex begets sex (a lot of ladies aren't "in the mood" until they're already engaging in some sort of sexual behavior, so jump in... you'll probably enjoy it!).
Although I liked that the book is based on interviews of married moms and dads, I didn't find the book terribly insightful. It didn't have much content, and what content there was VERY liberally sprinkled with interviewee quotes, "dirty little secrets" (some eyebrow-raising, others just sad), and quizzes.
The main messages can be boiled down to the subtitles of each chapter: Expectations versus Reality, Make the Choice to Be Happy, Communication Is Key, Prioritizing Your Relationship, and Make Sex a True Investment in Your Marriage.
Nonetheless, if you have or are having kids, I think it's worthwhile to make the effort to read books like this one even if it's just a reminder of what you already know: that you can't do it all, that you need to communicate with your significant other, that you need to make time to be a partner (trust me, your child will benefit from the good example!), and that sex begets sex (a lot of ladies aren't "in the mood" until they're already engaging in some sort of sexual behavior, so jump in... you'll probably enjoy it!).
Sunday, June 28, 2009
Draft Birth Plan
It's long and I haven't reviewed it with my doctor yet, but here is my draft birth plan:
Monitoring
During labor, I do not wish to have continuous fetal monitoring unless it is required by the condition of my daughter.
In the pushing stage, I am fine with an external electronic monitor.
Labor Augmentation/Induction
I do not wish to have the amniotic membrane ruptured artificially unless signs of fetal distress require internal monitoring.
I would prefer to be allowed to try changing position and other natural methods.
I would like to avoid drugs such as Pitocin.
Anesthesia
I do not want any kind of anesthesia offered to me during labor, though I would like it available if I specifically request it.
If I ask for pain relief, please feel free to offer nonmedical choices forcoping and/or remind me how close I am to the birth.
Should I decide to get anesthesia, I would prefer a patient-controlled epidural analgesia (PCEA).
Episiotomy
I would prefer not to have an episiotomy unless absolutely required for the baby's safety; I’d like to use perineal massage, warm compresses and positioning as much as possible.
Delivery
Even if I am fully dilated, and assuming my daughter is not in distress, I would like to try to wait until I feel the urge to push before beginning the pushing phase.
I would like to use foot pedals or a birth bar during the pushing stage.
I would prefer not to use vacuum extraction or forceps unless my daughter is in distress.
I would like a mirror available so I can see my daughter's head when it crowns.
I would like my husband to be able to help “catch” our daughter should he choose.
In Case of Cesarean
If my primary care provider determines that a Cesarean delivery is indicated, I would like to obtain a second opinion from another physician if time allows.
I would only like a Cesarean if all other options have been exhausted.
I would like my husband present at all times if my daughter requires a Cesarean delivery.
I wish to have an epidural for anesthesia.
I would like my hands left free so I may hold my husband’s hand and touch my daughter after birth.
If my daughter is not in distress, my daughter should be given to my husband immediately after birth.
I would like our plans outlined here for after the birth to be followed as closely as possible.
After Delivery
I would like to have my daughter placed on my stomach/chest immediately after delivery.
I would like to bond with my daughter before her medical exams and procedures.
I would like to have my daughter examined and bathed in my presence.
I would like my husband to cut the cord after it stops pulsating.
I would like to deliver the placenta spontaneously rather than having a routine shot of Pitocin.
If my daughter must be taken from me to receive medical treatment, my husband or some other person I designate will accompany my daughter at all times.
After the birth, I would prefer to be given a few moments of privacy to attempt to urinate on my own before being catheterized.
I would like to donate the umbilical cord blood.
Please remove my IV/Heparin lock/catheter as soon as possible after the birth.
Please note I am likely Rh incompatible with my daughter, and will need a Rhogam shot after the birth.
Breastfeeding
I would like to breastfeed as soon as possible after delivery.
Unless medically necessary, I do not wish to have any bottles given to my daughter (including formula, glucose water or plain water).
I do not want my daughter to be given a pacifier.
Labor
I would prefer dim lights, and a quiet atmosphere.
I prefer only my husband and mother be allowed in my room during labor.
I would like to maintain mobility, having the option to labor in the shower, use a birth bar and/or change positions at will throughout labor.
I would like to be able to have fluids by mouth throughout the first stage of labor.
I would prefer to keep the number of vaginal exams to a minimum.
I would prefer not to have an IV, unless medically necessary.
I would prefer not to have to wear a hospital-issued gown; I will purchase and bring my own.
Monitoring
During labor, I do not wish to have continuous fetal monitoring unless it is required by the condition of my daughter.
In the pushing stage, I am fine with an external electronic monitor.
Labor Augmentation/Induction
I do not wish to have the amniotic membrane ruptured artificially unless signs of fetal distress require internal monitoring.
I would prefer to be allowed to try changing position and other natural methods.
I would like to avoid drugs such as Pitocin.
Anesthesia
I do not want any kind of anesthesia offered to me during labor, though I would like it available if I specifically request it.
If I ask for pain relief, please feel free to offer nonmedical choices forcoping and/or remind me how close I am to the birth.
Should I decide to get anesthesia, I would prefer a patient-controlled epidural analgesia (PCEA).
Episiotomy
I would prefer not to have an episiotomy unless absolutely required for the baby's safety; I’d like to use perineal massage, warm compresses and positioning as much as possible.
Delivery
Even if I am fully dilated, and assuming my daughter is not in distress, I would like to try to wait until I feel the urge to push before beginning the pushing phase.
I would like to use foot pedals or a birth bar during the pushing stage.
I would prefer not to use vacuum extraction or forceps unless my daughter is in distress.
I would like a mirror available so I can see my daughter's head when it crowns.
I would like my husband to be able to help “catch” our daughter should he choose.
In Case of Cesarean
If my primary care provider determines that a Cesarean delivery is indicated, I would like to obtain a second opinion from another physician if time allows.
I would only like a Cesarean if all other options have been exhausted.
I would like my husband present at all times if my daughter requires a Cesarean delivery.
I wish to have an epidural for anesthesia.
I would like my hands left free so I may hold my husband’s hand and touch my daughter after birth.
If my daughter is not in distress, my daughter should be given to my husband immediately after birth.
I would like our plans outlined here for after the birth to be followed as closely as possible.
After Delivery
I would like to have my daughter placed on my stomach/chest immediately after delivery.
I would like to bond with my daughter before her medical exams and procedures.
I would like to have my daughter examined and bathed in my presence.
I would like my husband to cut the cord after it stops pulsating.
I would like to deliver the placenta spontaneously rather than having a routine shot of Pitocin.
If my daughter must be taken from me to receive medical treatment, my husband or some other person I designate will accompany my daughter at all times.
After the birth, I would prefer to be given a few moments of privacy to attempt to urinate on my own before being catheterized.
I would like to donate the umbilical cord blood.
Please remove my IV/Heparin lock/catheter as soon as possible after the birth.
Please note I am likely Rh incompatible with my daughter, and will need a Rhogam shot after the birth.
Breastfeeding
I would like to breastfeed as soon as possible after delivery.
Unless medically necessary, I do not wish to have any bottles given to my daughter (including formula, glucose water or plain water).
I do not want my daughter to be given a pacifier.
Tour of Franklin Square
Matt and I took a tour of Franklin Square, the hospital where I will most likely be giving birth, on the 19th. There were plenty of no-shows, so it was just us, a girl of about 18 and her sister, and a girl in her mid-twenties with her boyfriend. The tour guide used to run these information sessions, but hadn't in a while, and was filling in for the usual guide. I think by the end of the tour, she was regretting that kindness!
The tour started in a small classroom with a slideshow obviously shot when the Women's Pavilion first opened, and an opportunity to ask some questions. I was the only one who had questions, and the poor guide didn't know the answers to most of them.
I asked were whether there is an anesthesiologist or nurse-anesthesiologist specific to the labor/delivery unit, and whether they are in the hospital 24/7 or just on-call 24/7. She wasn't sure whether there is an anesthesiologist or nurse-anesthesiologist specific to the labor/delivery unit, but there is at least one in the hospital at all times.
I asked what types of epidurals are available: regular, combined spinal/epidurals (CSEs), or patient-controlled epidural analgesias (PCEAs). She didn't know, but confirmed with an employee that at least PCEAs are available, which is what I would prefer if I choose medical pain relief.
I asked what the policy is on timing of epidurals, as some hospitals won't give you one if you are nearing or in the pushing stage. She gave up and suggested I take Franklin Square's course on anesthesia and pain relief. I was kind enough not to point out that I was probably already overinformed on what's out there.
At that point, we started our actual tour of the birthplace. We saw the exam room we'll go in first, where they would decide whether to admit you or send you back home to labor for a while. Then we saw a room where we'd do our active labor, birth and recovery. The rooms are nice, large rooms with a beds that breaks apart for the doctor to get to you, and has holes to install a birth bar in should the mother want to use one. The medical equipment is tucked away in cabinets behind the bed; cabinets on the other side of the room hold a TV, DVD player and CD player; there is a guest chair that converts into a bed (they provide sheets); and there is plenty of room for a bassinet.
I asked whether laboring in water was an option. She said they got rid of the labor tubs, but do allow you to labor in the shower if you'd like. The adjoining bathroom is large and they can put a chair in the shower.
I asked whether they provide birth balls. She said they don't, but welcome you to bring your own.
I asked whether IVs were mandatory. She didn't know, but found out that they were. I am NOT happy with that. I don't see the need for it.
I asked about their oral intake policy, and she said that they only allow ice chips. I'm not terribly happy with that policy, either. (But no wonder they insist you get an IV!)
Based on the responses from my last two questions, I asked what the rate of vaginal births to C-sections is. She didn't know... and didn't find out. I imagine it's higher than they would like to admit. (IVs make it easier to pump you full of meds, and if they don't let you eat, they worry less about you throwing up and choking in an operating room.) At that point, I was REALLY wishing we lived closer to Mercy.
We also saw the OR where C-sections are conducted. It's obviously more functional and less...pretty. I hope I don't have to see it again.
I asked what the typical hospital stay is, and she said two days. I asked whether lactation support was available, and she said that a specialist visits each mom at least once, then as often as the mom would like. I asked how many copies of our birth plan we should bring, and she said one is sufficient as they will add it to your chart.
I don't think the other two mothers-to-be had any idea what any of my questions meant.
At the end of the tour, we were brought back to the classroom to allow for any additional questions, and to fill out a survey. Frankly, the tour was only beneficial to us to become familiar with the actual space; there wasn't much education that went along with it, and I think that's a shame for people like the other two couples, who were as far along as me and farther, and didn't seem to have done much more to prepare than register for gifts. Birth used to be something so normal and natural, and now it's become a mystery to most women. Especially for you first-time moms: educate yourselves! We need to know what to expect, and what our options are!
The tour started in a small classroom with a slideshow obviously shot when the Women's Pavilion first opened, and an opportunity to ask some questions. I was the only one who had questions, and the poor guide didn't know the answers to most of them.
I asked were whether there is an anesthesiologist or nurse-anesthesiologist specific to the labor/delivery unit, and whether they are in the hospital 24/7 or just on-call 24/7. She wasn't sure whether there is an anesthesiologist or nurse-anesthesiologist specific to the labor/delivery unit, but there is at least one in the hospital at all times.
I asked what types of epidurals are available: regular, combined spinal/epidurals (CSEs), or patient-controlled epidural analgesias (PCEAs). She didn't know, but confirmed with an employee that at least PCEAs are available, which is what I would prefer if I choose medical pain relief.
I asked what the policy is on timing of epidurals, as some hospitals won't give you one if you are nearing or in the pushing stage. She gave up and suggested I take Franklin Square's course on anesthesia and pain relief. I was kind enough not to point out that I was probably already overinformed on what's out there.
At that point, we started our actual tour of the birthplace. We saw the exam room we'll go in first, where they would decide whether to admit you or send you back home to labor for a while. Then we saw a room where we'd do our active labor, birth and recovery. The rooms are nice, large rooms with a beds that breaks apart for the doctor to get to you, and has holes to install a birth bar in should the mother want to use one. The medical equipment is tucked away in cabinets behind the bed; cabinets on the other side of the room hold a TV, DVD player and CD player; there is a guest chair that converts into a bed (they provide sheets); and there is plenty of room for a bassinet.
I asked whether laboring in water was an option. She said they got rid of the labor tubs, but do allow you to labor in the shower if you'd like. The adjoining bathroom is large and they can put a chair in the shower.
I asked whether they provide birth balls. She said they don't, but welcome you to bring your own.
I asked whether IVs were mandatory. She didn't know, but found out that they were. I am NOT happy with that. I don't see the need for it.
I asked about their oral intake policy, and she said that they only allow ice chips. I'm not terribly happy with that policy, either. (But no wonder they insist you get an IV!)
Based on the responses from my last two questions, I asked what the rate of vaginal births to C-sections is. She didn't know... and didn't find out. I imagine it's higher than they would like to admit. (IVs make it easier to pump you full of meds, and if they don't let you eat, they worry less about you throwing up and choking in an operating room.) At that point, I was REALLY wishing we lived closer to Mercy.
We also saw the OR where C-sections are conducted. It's obviously more functional and less...pretty. I hope I don't have to see it again.
I asked what the typical hospital stay is, and she said two days. I asked whether lactation support was available, and she said that a specialist visits each mom at least once, then as often as the mom would like. I asked how many copies of our birth plan we should bring, and she said one is sufficient as they will add it to your chart.
I don't think the other two mothers-to-be had any idea what any of my questions meant.
At the end of the tour, we were brought back to the classroom to allow for any additional questions, and to fill out a survey. Frankly, the tour was only beneficial to us to become familiar with the actual space; there wasn't much education that went along with it, and I think that's a shame for people like the other two couples, who were as far along as me and farther, and didn't seem to have done much more to prepare than register for gifts. Birth used to be something so normal and natural, and now it's become a mystery to most women. Especially for you first-time moms: educate yourselves! We need to know what to expect, and what our options are!
Thursday, June 11, 2009
All's Well That Eats Well
I had a long, rough day that started with waiting 90 minutes to see my doctor and ended with me nearly plowing into an MTA bus two blocks from my office and at 8pm. I called Matt and he offered to help with dinner, which was supposed to be fish poached in citrus with an orange/celery/chickpea salad and cous cous. "Or," I sighed, "you could just throw in the frozen pizza."
To his defense, Matt was also just getting home and was getting a ton of stuff out of the basement to take to the Salvation Army. But I was still displeased to smell pizza when I walked through the front door. My mom would choose pizza as her last supper. She loves the stuff. I don't. I like pizza, but my favorite foods are all a little closer to their natural states. Like arugula, summer tomatoes, or most any kind of fruit. Or fish and oranges and chickpeas. Which is exactly what we had for dinner.
In all fairness, it took less than 20 minutes to zest and peel and slice the oranges, poach the fish, make cous cous, and throw the salad together. Matt helped with the zesting and chopping, and in the end chose the well-balanced dinner over pizza. But he can eat that for dinner tomorrow, while I'm at Ixia... I hope the baby ends up with Matt's nose, and my taste in food!
Wednesday, June 10, 2009
28 Weeks Later
Stine has been on me about posting pictures of my pregnant belly, but Matt has apparently had little interest in playing with his $800 camera. But faced with the furor of his wife, child AND Danish friend, Matt finally broke out his toy and took some pictures. I like the dim, cloudy look of the few he took without a flash:
But he used a flash with most of them. Anyway, I'm 28 weeks in these pictures; 12 weeks to go before we meet our little girl!
But he used a flash with most of them. Anyway, I'm 28 weeks in these pictures; 12 weeks to go before we meet our little girl!
Trials and Tribble-ations
Angel's latest "thing" is to whine constantly while I make dinner, eat, and clean (on the rare occasion Matt doesn't do the dinner dishes). While I'm not trying to encourage this behavior, I also don't want to become Crazy Screaming Mommy, so I try to give him a little attention rather than loose my cool and shout at him. (This also may be early guilt for the baby; who knows?)
Anyway, I decided to do the dishes myself last night, and to keep him quiet, Matt brushed Angel. And brushed him. And brushed him. Until we had ourselves a Tribble:
Seriously? That's from ONE brushing. And I could probably brush him again this morning and make a third pet.
Sunday, June 7, 2009
Really Well, But...
I almost passed out at the Farmer's Market today. Mom and I had taken a lap around the market so she could see her breakfast options, and Matt had gotten in the queue for coffee and crepes (since we both nearly always get crepes there). I was hungry but no where near famished, it was crowded but I was used to that, and it was warm but certainly not hot. But shortly after Mom and I joined Matt in line for the crepes, I suddenly became lightheaded and everything started to sound very far away...
Before I made a scene, Mom ushered me off to some crates stacked next to the market entrance, and a family there gave me a bottle of water and much sympathy. Thank goodness for that family! I may have actually passed out without their assistance. After a few minutes of sipping on the water and holding the cool bottle to my pulse points (and explaining to my mom how that is the most effective place to put a cold item when you need to cool yourself off, as it's where the blood is closest to the surface of your skin, and the cooled blood is able to circulate from there... I'll bet she was starting to wish I'd pass out just to give her a break), I began to feel much better. And several minutes later, Matt arrived with crepe #18: mango, kiwi, banana, peach butter and cinnamon. Nom.
When we dropped Mom off this afternoon and visited Grandma then Aunt Carol, Uncle Jimmy and Anne, I felt the need to caveat when asked how I was doing. Really well, but... I almost passed out at the Farmer's Market today.
I still think I am doing really well; I've had a very easy pregnancy thus far. No morning sickness, no strange cravings, no major mood swings. No unexpected weight gain... knock on wood. The neighbor's son (himself a young father of two) is just waiting to hear that I've turned into the stereotypical crazed pregnant woman, weepy and demanding and tired and swollen and self-conscious. He said his wife is still mad at him for taking a profile picture of her when she was pregnant with their first child. Of course, this is where Matt reciprocates the consideration by allowing me veto rights regarding all pictures of me. No matter how much he likes a picture, if I deem it too unflattering, he will delete it. Not that I mind pregnant profile pictures. Not that he's TAKEN any. Ahem.
I told Matt today that he's going to have to extend photo veto rights to pictures of the baby as well. I have never been particularly photogenic, and a good many of my baby pictures show me making the most ridiculous faces. Ones I inadvertently make to this day when standing before a camera. And if our little one has the misfortune to take after me in that regard, I want to save her from future embarrassment. Who knows whether she will be the most beautiful baby ever? I'm sure to think so, but the least I can do is make it look like she is. Another benefit of modern technology.
Before I made a scene, Mom ushered me off to some crates stacked next to the market entrance, and a family there gave me a bottle of water and much sympathy. Thank goodness for that family! I may have actually passed out without their assistance. After a few minutes of sipping on the water and holding the cool bottle to my pulse points (and explaining to my mom how that is the most effective place to put a cold item when you need to cool yourself off, as it's where the blood is closest to the surface of your skin, and the cooled blood is able to circulate from there... I'll bet she was starting to wish I'd pass out just to give her a break), I began to feel much better. And several minutes later, Matt arrived with crepe #18: mango, kiwi, banana, peach butter and cinnamon. Nom.
When we dropped Mom off this afternoon and visited Grandma then Aunt Carol, Uncle Jimmy and Anne, I felt the need to caveat when asked how I was doing. Really well, but... I almost passed out at the Farmer's Market today.
I still think I am doing really well; I've had a very easy pregnancy thus far. No morning sickness, no strange cravings, no major mood swings. No unexpected weight gain... knock on wood. The neighbor's son (himself a young father of two) is just waiting to hear that I've turned into the stereotypical crazed pregnant woman, weepy and demanding and tired and swollen and self-conscious. He said his wife is still mad at him for taking a profile picture of her when she was pregnant with their first child. Of course, this is where Matt reciprocates the consideration by allowing me veto rights regarding all pictures of me. No matter how much he likes a picture, if I deem it too unflattering, he will delete it. Not that I mind pregnant profile pictures. Not that he's TAKEN any. Ahem.
I told Matt today that he's going to have to extend photo veto rights to pictures of the baby as well. I have never been particularly photogenic, and a good many of my baby pictures show me making the most ridiculous faces. Ones I inadvertently make to this day when standing before a camera. And if our little one has the misfortune to take after me in that regard, I want to save her from future embarrassment. Who knows whether she will be the most beautiful baby ever? I'm sure to think so, but the least I can do is make it look like she is. Another benefit of modern technology.
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