Sunday, September 6, 2009

Anniversary Song/Bad Mommy

I have the Anniversary Song stuck in my head; today is Matt's and my 6th.

My mom came up yesterday afternoon to watch Evelyn, and she sent Matt and me to dinner. It felt lovely to get dressed nice, put on some make up and heels, and spend as long as we want out of the house. Matt got us reservations at Woodberry Kitchen. We had a seat in the loft, which was great for people-watching. And the people-watching was worthwhile: Cal Ripken, Jr. and his family were having dinner downstairs. The meal was great. I had melon gazpacho, scallops, and carrot cake for dessert. Matt had corn on the cob, shortribs, and flourless chocolate cake. The corn on the cob was RIDICULOUS. I dubbed it "sex corn." It was roasted in the husk and covered in a quarter inch of butter and feta. Matt gave me a bite and I didn't want to give it back to him. We also split a bottle of Cava.

Therein lies the "bad mommy" part.

For one, I had no reservations about leaving my baby for the first time. She was in my mother's capable hands, so I didn't see the point of worrying. And, we didn't spend the entire time talking about her. We mainly flirted with one another and chatted about what we wanted to do when we grow up. We didn't call to check up, and we didn't rush back as quickly as we could. I didn't even snatch the baby out of my mom's arms the second I walked in the door. (Though I did admire her and give her kisses.)

After months of reading parenting magazines, some of which included articles about how to get over the guilt of going out without your baby, I wondered later whether I'm normal. In the end, I decided I'm not a bad mommy at all; apparently, I can be Mommy and a wife, too. So far.

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