At some obscene hour last Saturday morning, I was rocking the baby and singing "Happy Birthday" for the fifth time. She made a beautiful (if wide-awake) five-week-old. And I needed the sleep because we were having guests over to meet her that day.
Our little open house was from 2pm to 5pm, and we had quite the turnout. And quite the spread! I put out a spread of wine, beer, sodas, bread, crackers, pita chips, five gourmet cheeses (plus cheddar, Bob's favorite), pepperoni, salami, ham, smoked salmon, thinly sliced apples and pears, celery, green peppers, baby carrots, quartered radishes, chutney, hummus, mustard, deviled eggs, spinach balls, olives, M&Ms, cheesecake... I could barely fit it all on the table!
Visitors included Matt's mother and aunt; Bob; Viki and Julia; Court and VJ; Ed and Jen; Carlos; Mark; Doug, Tess, and Emma; Brian, Lucy, their three kids and a toddler Lucy babysits; Tom and Lin...I feel like I'm forgetting someone! While it was supposed to be an open house, most people stayed the entire time. I felt it was a success; very encouraging for hosting my first party. Plus, I got to see people I've missed for quite some time: Carlos and I were cheated out of one more pre-baby movie, Mark and I missed out on one more lunch, and I hadn't seen Ed and Jen or Viki and Julia in nearly a year!
And of course, there were presents. Viki and Julia gave us hangers, a first Christmas ornament, and a calender to record events in Evelyn's first year. Mark gave us a custom-made PBJT onsie. (I'll post a picture soon; let's see who "gets it"); the Rays gave us a stroller accessory kit; the Sporrers gave us a gift certificate to Target; Tom and Lin gave Evelyn a pink sweatsuit with bunny ears on the hoodie. And I still haven't gotten out the thank you cards for the hand-knit sweater Christie sent, the bunny and bookends from Mary Robin and Gary, the books from Cameron and Peter, or the outfit from Aunt Pat. And two of our guests mentioned having gifts that are in transit! I know it sounds hokey, but I really am touched by the outpouring of love and generosity we've experienced since Evelyn was born. She's a special baby, and I appreciate all of my very special friends.
Thursday, September 24, 2009
Wednesday, September 9, 2009
On the Other Hand
We took Evelyn to my office yesterday afternoon. She mostly slept through being passed around, loved, kissed, and admired. On the other hand, I wanted to know about workload, RFPs that we've received, proposals we've won or lost. It was reminiscent of how I'd had Matt bring me the laptop to the hospital, so I could check my email and send instructions to my coworkers. And I was more or less "recovered" from labor and birth by the time I'd left the hospital, so by day three I was ready to go back to work. I don't like hanging around the house, can't stand having the TV on all day, and hate feeling like I'm not accomplishing anything.
At the office, my direct boss asked when I was planning to return. With a long sigh, I told her our daycare coverage didn't start until November 1st. "Well, you can take up to twelve weeks with FMLA," she said. "And remember, you don't get this time back."
Back home, her words really hit me. On one hand, I want to get out of the house every day, be productive, accomplish things. But on the other hand, Evelyn will grow so fast during her first year. She'll soon be sitting up, pointing to things she wants, crawling...and walking away from me. So last night, Matt and I watched a movie and I soaked in the joy of having my baby daughter sleeping on my chest. I admired her little eyelashes, rosy lips, smooth round cheeks, tiny little fingernails. I stroked her wispy dark hair, rubbed her small back, and kissed her forehead over and over again.
What I realized is: the part of me I wanted to hold on to will always be there, but what I have in the other hand--the part of me experiencing brand-new motherhood--is fleeting. And I need to hold on to it while I can.
At the office, my direct boss asked when I was planning to return. With a long sigh, I told her our daycare coverage didn't start until November 1st. "Well, you can take up to twelve weeks with FMLA," she said. "And remember, you don't get this time back."
Back home, her words really hit me. On one hand, I want to get out of the house every day, be productive, accomplish things. But on the other hand, Evelyn will grow so fast during her first year. She'll soon be sitting up, pointing to things she wants, crawling...and walking away from me. So last night, Matt and I watched a movie and I soaked in the joy of having my baby daughter sleeping on my chest. I admired her little eyelashes, rosy lips, smooth round cheeks, tiny little fingernails. I stroked her wispy dark hair, rubbed her small back, and kissed her forehead over and over again.
What I realized is: the part of me I wanted to hold on to will always be there, but what I have in the other hand--the part of me experiencing brand-new motherhood--is fleeting. And I need to hold on to it while I can.
Monday, September 7, 2009
The Five (Sanity-Saving) S's
Even though I read a ridiculous number of pregnancy, birth, and parenting magazines in the past nine months, there was a list of books I had intended to check out in the last few weeks of my pregnancy. But of course, I didn't HAVE a last few weeks of pregnancy. One of the books I missed out on was The Happiest Baby on the Block by Dr. Harvey Karp. Legions of moms swear by this guy's methods for soothing fussy babies. His whole thing is that babies need a "fourth trimester" of three or four months that recreates the sensations of the womb. His five S's are:
- Sucking
- Swinging
- Shushing
- Side positioning
- Swaddling
The sucking thing is self-explanatory. Evelyn doesn't use a binky often, but if she's rooting around, I like to offer it to her before feeding her so I know whether she's actually hungry or just wants to suck on something.
Swinging seems to be something all babies love. Really, who doesn't like being swung, swayed, rocked, or whatever?
Sushing replicates the white noise of the womb. We have a Sleep Sheep attached to the outside of Evelyn's crib, and turn it on if she's still semi-awake when we put her down. Also, if she gets fussy when we are changing her diaper, we lean down and make a "shhhhhhhhhhhh" in her ear; this calms her down and sometimes even makes her stop crying altogether.
Side positioning is something to do while the baby is awake. Babies should always sleep on their backs! We don't really do this one too much.
Swaddling. This is my favorite. THANK HEAVEN FOR SWADDLING! Matt's cousin told me the one thing I needed was a velcro swaddler, and she was absolutely right! The first night home, Evelyn kept had a hard time going to sleep, and would wake herself up with her little flailing arms and legs. The second night, we used a swaddler and what a difference! We use it every night now. In fact, one of my coworkers gave us a Babies R Us gift certificate and we rushed right out and got a few more. This is going to be my go-to gift for all new moms. Love it!
Serious Stack of Magazines
One of the things I've done in the past three weeks is go through the insane stack of parenting magazines I had acquired over the past year. I had multiple issues from seven titles:
After placing an ad for an old client, I found out that you can't buy American Baby at the newsstand. But after having Evelyn, I found out that you CAN get a free subscription to it. It has a good mix of fluff and content, and is short enough for me to read in an afternoon (or one long sitting).
babytalk is similar to American Baby, but a bit shorter. I seem to have picked up a free subscription to this one, too. I'd be perfectly happy with one or the other, but don't feel like I need both.
Cookie is the most upscale of the bunch. It has ads from Ralph Lauren and J. Crew's kids lines, celeb moms' styles, $114 rompers, and ideas for fancy themed birthday parties. Of course, this is the only one for which I was willing to pay for a subscription.
Disney Family Fun is what the title suggests: a magazine full of family activities, getaways, meals, etc. I've gotten a few in the mail from heaven knows where. I think you just end up on a lot of mailing lists. But this is better for those with kids at least in preschool, so I'll likely look into this one after a few years.
Mom & Baby is a fun fluffy one from the publisher of FitPregnancy. I enjoy getting this one on the newsstand to see all the cute baby clothes, accessories, and toys; and for the celeb articles.
Parenting is another one similar to American Baby and babytalk. Really, I haven't noticed any differentiators between these titles. I could get one or none and feel like I'm getting the same content. Though if I had to rank them, I might say babytalk is the best, followed by American Baby then Parenting.
Parents is owned by the same publisher as American Baby. It's the biggest of the ones I've been reading, and has the most real content. It's the only one I probably couldn't read cover to cover in a day. At least not with a baby latched to me every other hour! But it seems like mandatory reading, so I got the free subscription with (you guessed it) American Baby.
- American Baby
- babytalk
- Cookie
- Disney Family Fun
- Mom & Baby
- Parenting
- Parents
After placing an ad for an old client, I found out that you can't buy American Baby at the newsstand. But after having Evelyn, I found out that you CAN get a free subscription to it. It has a good mix of fluff and content, and is short enough for me to read in an afternoon (or one long sitting).
babytalk is similar to American Baby, but a bit shorter. I seem to have picked up a free subscription to this one, too. I'd be perfectly happy with one or the other, but don't feel like I need both.
Cookie is the most upscale of the bunch. It has ads from Ralph Lauren and J. Crew's kids lines, celeb moms' styles, $114 rompers, and ideas for fancy themed birthday parties. Of course, this is the only one for which I was willing to pay for a subscription.
Disney Family Fun is what the title suggests: a magazine full of family activities, getaways, meals, etc. I've gotten a few in the mail from heaven knows where. I think you just end up on a lot of mailing lists. But this is better for those with kids at least in preschool, so I'll likely look into this one after a few years.
Mom & Baby is a fun fluffy one from the publisher of FitPregnancy. I enjoy getting this one on the newsstand to see all the cute baby clothes, accessories, and toys; and for the celeb articles.
Parenting is another one similar to American Baby and babytalk. Really, I haven't noticed any differentiators between these titles. I could get one or none and feel like I'm getting the same content. Though if I had to rank them, I might say babytalk is the best, followed by American Baby then Parenting.
Parents is owned by the same publisher as American Baby. It's the biggest of the ones I've been reading, and has the most real content. It's the only one I probably couldn't read cover to cover in a day. At least not with a baby latched to me every other hour! But it seems like mandatory reading, so I got the free subscription with (you guessed it) American Baby.
Sunday, September 6, 2009
Anniversary Song/Bad Mommy
I have the Anniversary Song stuck in my head; today is Matt's and my 6th.
My mom came up yesterday afternoon to watch Evelyn, and she sent Matt and me to dinner. It felt lovely to get dressed nice, put on some make up and heels, and spend as long as we want out of the house. Matt got us reservations at Woodberry Kitchen. We had a seat in the loft, which was great for people-watching. And the people-watching was worthwhile: Cal Ripken, Jr. and his family were having dinner downstairs. The meal was great. I had melon gazpacho, scallops, and carrot cake for dessert. Matt had corn on the cob, shortribs, and flourless chocolate cake. The corn on the cob was RIDICULOUS. I dubbed it "sex corn." It was roasted in the husk and covered in a quarter inch of butter and feta. Matt gave me a bite and I didn't want to give it back to him. We also split a bottle of Cava.
Therein lies the "bad mommy" part.
For one, I had no reservations about leaving my baby for the first time. She was in my mother's capable hands, so I didn't see the point of worrying. And, we didn't spend the entire time talking about her. We mainly flirted with one another and chatted about what we wanted to do when we grow up. We didn't call to check up, and we didn't rush back as quickly as we could. I didn't even snatch the baby out of my mom's arms the second I walked in the door. (Though I did admire her and give her kisses.)
After months of reading parenting magazines, some of which included articles about how to get over the guilt of going out without your baby, I wondered later whether I'm normal. In the end, I decided I'm not a bad mommy at all; apparently, I can be Mommy and a wife, too. So far.
My mom came up yesterday afternoon to watch Evelyn, and she sent Matt and me to dinner. It felt lovely to get dressed nice, put on some make up and heels, and spend as long as we want out of the house. Matt got us reservations at Woodberry Kitchen. We had a seat in the loft, which was great for people-watching. And the people-watching was worthwhile: Cal Ripken, Jr. and his family were having dinner downstairs. The meal was great. I had melon gazpacho, scallops, and carrot cake for dessert. Matt had corn on the cob, shortribs, and flourless chocolate cake. The corn on the cob was RIDICULOUS. I dubbed it "sex corn." It was roasted in the husk and covered in a quarter inch of butter and feta. Matt gave me a bite and I didn't want to give it back to him. We also split a bottle of Cava.
Therein lies the "bad mommy" part.
For one, I had no reservations about leaving my baby for the first time. She was in my mother's capable hands, so I didn't see the point of worrying. And, we didn't spend the entire time talking about her. We mainly flirted with one another and chatted about what we wanted to do when we grow up. We didn't call to check up, and we didn't rush back as quickly as we could. I didn't even snatch the baby out of my mom's arms the second I walked in the door. (Though I did admire her and give her kisses.)
After months of reading parenting magazines, some of which included articles about how to get over the guilt of going out without your baby, I wondered later whether I'm normal. In the end, I decided I'm not a bad mommy at all; apparently, I can be Mommy and a wife, too. So far.
Thursday, September 3, 2009
Matt Discovers Poopy Diapers
The picture says it all. And I love the casual look on Evelyn's face!
(To Matt's credit, he has yet to complain about changing diapers... regardless of what's in them.)
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