I have to admit...

...that work has been a bit better lately. I have several new clients, most are in interesting industries, and I've been able to challenge myself to get informed on those industries (in all of my "spare" time). I'm also carving out the time to be more proactive with my clients, rather than only reactive to their immediate wants and needs. It's been dizzying, but at least I don't feel as though my brain is atrophying!

I had an interesting exchange with a coworker about balance, and I think that's something I need to address. Not necessarily in the upcoming year--I don't think New Year's is the best or only time for resolutions--but immediately, continually, and earnestly. In the next few days, I'll be identifying the different areas of my life (family, friends, work, health, home, etc.) and devising measurable, acheivable objectives and goals. These clients may be my vocation, but my life is my real occupation!

Christmas Eve(lyn)

We kept calling Evelyn our "Christmas Eve." So cute. Our day started with Evelyn and I paying a visit to Miss Tanya. We met her three kids and I helped her sneak in the presents Matt and I collected for her family at our jobs. Her parents paid her a quick visit, and we got to meet them. Her mother said, "So this is the Evelyn you are always talking about!" If there was any doubt in my mind that Evelyn holds a special place in Tanya's heart--and there wasn't--that would have resolved it!

We got home just before Matt, and opened a few last minute Christmas cards, including one from Viki and Julia with gift cards for Olive Garden and Toys R Us.

When Matt got home, we headed to Aunt Carol's for our annual Christmas Eve party. I walked in and my cousin Joey said it was about time I brought him his baby! She got passed around quite a bit and seemed to love all the attention. She was, as usual, amazingly good.

Aunt Janet (who didn't make it to the baby shower) gave us a Toys R Us giftcard, which will come in handy for her high chair.

After a long visit and plenty of food, we headed down the street to my mom's to open presents.

My grandma (now Evelyn's "Nanny") got her a set of three mini Cabbage Patch Snugglies dolls.

My mom got her a Crawl-Along Drum Roll; a copy of Twas the Night Before Christmas (love it!); a Very Hungry Caterpillar book, doll, and blanket set; and three footed sleepers (spring green floral, pink with snowflakes, and psychadelic pink and purple floral)

She got me a L'Occitane Shea Fantastique gift set; a customized calendar from Shutterfly, with pictures of my family on every month (which I just love) and a new, larger food processor. I can't wait to make bread in it!

She got Matt Modern Warfare 2 and Something Something Something Dark Side.

Uncle Bob gave me a Paris Sweets cookbook and a grater shaped like the Eiffel Tower.

Shannon got us a four-slot picture frame that reads, "TOGETHER WE ARE A FAMILY" and an outfit for Evelyn with red pants and a pink and red polka dot hoodie.

Uncle Glenn got her a Bat & Wobble Penguin, me a glass teapot (perfect for blooming tea), and a Giant gift card (perfect for buying blooming tea!), and Matt a Scrabble card game and a gift card to Best Buy.

Mom also got the family a Wii, and we spent a good part of the evening making our avatars and playing Wii Bowling. Matt and I are going to bring it home at some point; Mom got it for all of us to use. We got home around ten o'clock. According to NORAD, Santa was in Bolivia by then...we got right to bed!

Love it!

Ray the Snowman, as created by Matt's friend Doug and Doug's little girl.

Go Ravens!

Zero to Three

Evelyn turned four months old yesterday. Tomorrow she sees Dr. Kevin for a check up and her next set of vaccinations. I'm dreading those pin pricks and surprised looks and copious tears and sore thighs. I know it's something only Baby Tylenol and sleep and time will heal, but she's also getting Mommy, anyway. I'm going to spend the afternoon with her, even if it's just to hold her while she sleeps.

She's getting to be such a big girl. When I hold her, she pushes herself up and away, surveying the room, expressing her independence in the safety of my arms. She's rolled over for me, getting stuck on her side before rolling onto her back. Then she smiled. She has the easiest smile. And she loves her bath. She fusses while we wash her hair, fusses when we undress her, then calms when she hits that nice warm water. And for a few minutes, I get to admire her in the way I first did: bare and perfectly formed, engrossed in her own experience. Only now, she's gaining control of those delicious limbs. I've kissed nearly every inch of her perfect round body. My fully realized dream of a fat, happy baby.

I've already put away her 0-3 months clothing. Carefully picked out onsies from family and friends, sleepers, rompers, bodysuits culled over time from Baby Gap. All folded and put into matching plastic bins. A "maybe."

Evelyn's First Day at Daycare (I Didn't Cry)

Today was Evelyn's first day at her daycare. I didn't cry when she woke up early (since we did just "fall back") and I nursed her. I didn't cry when my alarm went off an hour later. I didn't cry when I got ready for work, or when she slept through my changing her diaper, dressing her, and putting her in her carseat. I didn't cry on the drive to her daycare.

Matt and I got there and dropped Evelyn off in her room. I put her milk in the fridge and noted her last feeding, nap, and diaper change. I kissed her goodbye. Several times. I didn't cry. (Though Matt and I both were a little pink-cheeked.)

Matt and I went to Starbucks afterwards, to put something warm in our bellies and to fuel my for my first day back at work. I couldn't believe I didn't cry.

I got to work early and settled in and received well-wishes from my co-workers. I pumped in the bathroom at around 10:00. I thought of my baby, of every fat little roll, and it made me smile.

I went to lunch with two of my co-workers, and called the daycare afterwards. I could hear Evelyn crying in the background. She was hungry and the "teacher" felt it was too soon after her last bottle to feed her. I think Evelyn may have wanted to be held. I was sad to hear her crying, sad that she wasn't being soothed that very moment. I wanted to race to her. But I didn't cry.

Matt left work around 4:00 to get her, and got her some 90 minutes later, right about the time I started itching to go home. I left right around 6:00. Traffic was light, but I was frustrated by every car in my way.

When I got home, Evelyn was sleeping in her daddy's arms. It was the sweetest sight. He gave her to me, and I held her for the next two hours, while Matt made a frozen pizza, while we ate, while he washed the dishes. I kissed her sweet little shoulders and hands and face, over and over and over again.

Then I realized that Evelyn was sleeping when I dropped her off this morning, and was sleeping the entire evening after I got home, and that if this went on every day, she may very well not lay eyes on me until the weekends. It would be like her mommy suddenly disappeared from her life. And that thought finally made me cry.

Brave Little Bug

This was taken on my cell phone in the evening, so it's a bit grainy... but it's Evelyn with her Daddy on Halloween. She actually seemed to like Matt's mask. Some of the Trick-or-Treaters on the other hand became Trick-or-Retreaters when they saw him. Several kids didn't make it up the walk. Matt loves Halloween!

Evelyn already had the ladybug romper, so we just threw that on her as a "costume." And no, I didn't take her trick-or-treating. I can't stand when adults take their babies out and actually try to collect candy. Does Evelyn look like she can eat candy??

Halloween Spirit

Before Mom and Dad could fill the cauldron with Halloween candy, I figured I'd let them know I'm the real treat!